Too Soon?

“Jimmmm, you really have to go on a date soon. Have you noticed you call your game pad ‘baby’. Urgh, and don’t get me started on your weird pen thing!” She has been nagging all morning. Lectures resumed today and being a level 100 student in the second semester really gets to your head.

There are guys who feel they can always cram four months worth of studying in just two weeks and so they’d avoid classes now. They failed the first time. I don’t know who would tell them their plan doesn’t even make sense. I know I won’t though, we need students like that so that we won’t be the ones coming up in the last positions on the academic leader board.There are ladies who would do anything to pin down a hottie or just an average looking guy with a good sized wallet. Those girls scare me to bits.

And there’s my best friend; trying to get me out of my terrifying to her but totally normal to me lonely life. I have tried and tried to make her see that I’m doing fine on my own. Unfortunately, I told myself that lie so much that I actually started to believe it. I wasn’t fine, not even close. And it’s not because of some random girl walking somewhere on campus. It was because of her, the same girl pushing me to go ask some random girl walking somewhere on campus out. Deep down inside, I always thought she was the fairest of them all. And I am not even an evil queen. It’s just that sometimes she unconsciously stares into my eyes as though looking through the magic mirror on the wall. And I always say ‘you, mi’Lady are the fairest of them all,’  under my breath. Loud enough for me to smile yet inaudible enough to evade her hearing. I know you probably think I’m a wuss for not saying what I may feel and all but in my defense I tell her she’s beautiful almost all the time.

 For some reason Jim seemed absent minded. This is the third time I’m calling him. Jim!!! What are you thinking about? “You’re beauti-ti, urm wh-wh-where again did you say we were going.?” I turned red. Was he thinking about me? To be honest, normally he thinking about me isn’t any big deal. After all like I said I’m the only lady in his life. Oh gosh come to think of it, that wide eared silly boy I’m pulling across campus is the only guy I know. Don’t get me wrong I know a lot of guys. But not like know-know you see. I can’t share him!! I just got him 😦 Terrified of accidentally pushing him too hard he falls out of my life, I decide not to take the chance. “I said we’re going to that place, urm where we went to the other time.” We both are clearly not the best liars. But somehow we just avoid questioning. Especially when the other’s lie would save us from awkward talk. We just roll with it and intentionally believe it. If that’s not messed up I don’t know what is.

Arghhhh, she just lied about where she wanted us to go. A minute ago it was to get me a date. Now I don’t think she even knows where we’re headed. This is tough!! And we’re both writers. For people who are supposedly good with words we suck at telling each other what we feel. I’m just so scared. I lost everyone else I went that route with and I can’t dare take chances with her. Losing her isn’t an option. It’s settled then. Que Sera Sera; Whatever will be, will be.

“I have something to tell you,” we blurted out almost at the same time. She talks faster than I do. As the loving gentleman I am, I gestured to signal she goes first. We stood facing each other but the whole world didn’t stop moving like it does in the movies and people stared as they walked passed us. After clearing the doubt in her throat, she went ahead. “Jim, I’m afraid of developing feelings for you.” I swallowed hard. “I am so much in love with you and it’s the best feeling in the world. I haven’t loved much and the very few people that told me I could love them ripped my heart to bits. I was afraid to pick up the pieces until you came along. And I’m not going to allow myself regret this time Jim. But I’m not going to deny myself the opportunity to feel loved and cared for either. So please just hug me. Be my friend. And leave everything to be author of humanity. If indeed He moulded us together we’d survive when it’s time to be something deeper.” I could tell she was struggling to find the words to continue and I knew this might be the only chance to do something I always wanted to do. I shot my finger for lips to keep her from going on. I searched my voice box within for the deepest voice I could imitate and said slowly, “shhhh don’t say anything else.” She caught my act and we both bursted out laughing. I gave her the tightest hug my arms could allow and planted a kiss on her forehead.

Does this mean you’d stop setting me up on blind dates?


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